The Sacrament of Matrimony

This is a great sacrament, but I speak in Christ and in the church,--EPH. v. 32.

Introduction

By dear brethren: We have treated several times before of the Sacrament of Matrimony, taking each time a different view of this important subject. Today we will consider it in its liturgical aspect; that is, we will study the Church ceremonies which are used both to give validity and add dignity to the celebration of the Sacrament, and to explain to the faithful the full significance of this sacred rite.



Banns

The first step taken in our churches in this matter is the proclamation of the banns. That is, the intended marriage is to be announced at high Mass on three successive Sundays or festivals, in the parish churches of both the bridegroom and the bride. All the faithful are thereby commanded to make known to the pastor any impediment they may know of which would be a hindrance to the intended marriage.

The purpose of the banns is to protect the honor and other interests of the Church and of the faithful. For it would disgrace the Church if one of her pastors would assist at a marriage forbidden by her laws; and it would be a sad misfortune for the two spouses, if, after they have been publicly married, it were then discovered that the contract was invalid, and they would have to separate from each other. Sometimes ill-instructed persons are ashamed of having their banns proclaimed. They should, on the contrary, be proud of it, for it means that the union is an honorable one, to which no objection is known.



The Marriage Ceremony

We will next explain the marriage ceremony itself. The pastor, or another priest acting in his place, enters the sanctuary wearing a surplice and a white stole, the white color denoting that matrimony is in the eyes of the Church a Joyous celebration. The validity of the contract requires also the presence of two witnesses, and, of course, the bridegroom and the bride should, in all propriety, be attended by their relatives and friends. The priest begins by interrogating each of the contracting parties separately about their consent to the marriage. First he asks the bridegroom: "Wilt thou take the bride here present [mentioning by name], for thy lawful wife, according to the rite of our holy Mother, the Church?" After he has received the answer, "I will," the priest similarly interrogates the bride, "Wilt thou take the bridegroom here present for thy lawful husband, according to the rite of our holy Mother, the Church?" The assent must be expressed by either in the words "I will."

When the deliberate consent of both has thus been publicly declared, the moment has arrived to enter on the solemn compact. The ceremony is very impressive, and clearly significant of the irrevocable binding force of the marital contract. For the priest now bids the bridegroom and the bride to hold each other's right hand, and in this position to pronounce the formula which ancient usage has consecrated to that purpose. First the bridegroom and next the bride pronounces the words: "I take thee for my lawful wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." The words used emphatically express the absolute prohibition of divorce, "till death do us part."

The contract is now completed, and the contract constitute the Sacrament for Christians. The priest proceeds to confirm and bless it, saying, "I join you in Matrimony, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." And, saying this, he makes over the married couple the holy Sign of the Cross.

The Sacrament of Matrimony must be received in the state of grace; to receive it in sin would be a sacrilege. If received in the proper dispositions, it confers on the recipients not only a present increase of holiness, as every Sacrament does, but also for future needs a rich supply of actual graces, which will greatly lighten the burdens of the married state and conduce to the attainment of the purposes of such union, chiefly the mutual help of husband and wife in life's difficulties and the proper raising of a happy family of children.

The next ceremony is the blessing of the nuptial ring. Unlike a bar, which has its two extremities pointing in opposite directions, a ring betokens a close bond of union, and is thus an appropriate emblem of the union of two persons into one. To signify that this union is holy, the priest pronounces over the ring an appointed blessing, saying: "Our help is in the name of the Lord, Who created heaven and earth. Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come unto thee. The Lord be with you, and with thy spirit. Let us pray. 'Bless, O Lord, this ring, which we bless in Thy name, that she who shall wear it, observing inviolate fidelity to her spouse, may dwell in peace and in Thy will, and may ever live in mutual charity, through Christ our Lord. Amen.'"

Then the priest blesses the ring with holy water in the form of the Cross; and the bridegroom, accepting it from the priest's hand, puts it on the ring-finger of his partner's left hand, saying: "With this ring I thee wed, and I plight unto thee my troth." And the priest, blessing them, adds. "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, confirm, O God, what thou hast worked in our midst, from Thy holy temple, which is in Jerusalem.

"Lord, have mercy on us; Christ, have mercy on us; Lord, have mercy on us." Then he recites the "Our Father," and continues thus: "Save thy servants. Lord, who hope in Thee; send them help from Thy holy place, and from Sion protect them; be to them a tower of strength against the face of the enemy. Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come unto Thee. The Lord be with you, and with thy spirit. Let us pray. Look down, we beseech Thee, O Lord, upon these Thy servants, and benignly assist the ordinances which Thou hast instituted for the increase of the human race; that those whom Thy will hath united may be preserved by Thy help, through Christ, our Lord."

The sacramental contract is now completed, and copious benedictions have been invoked upon the bridegroom and bride, such as are signified by the sacred ceremonies performed and by the prayers offered to God. But the ritual bids us remark that none of those solemn rites, none of those formal benedictions are to be used at mixed marriages, that is, when one of the parties is not a Catholic; nor are the surplice and stole then to be worn, nor is the marriage to be performed in the church. Such unions are no cause of joy, but of sadness to holy Mother, the Church, because they are a source of grievous evils. She may give a reluctant consent to them to avoid worse consequences, which would follow if her minister were not present at the contract. But she grieves over them, and, to express her mourning, she bids her minister perform merely what is necessary for the validity of the contract, and omit every religious rite.



The Nuptial Mass

The next liturgical function of a Catholic marriage, my brethren, is the holy Mass, read or sung for the welfare of the bridegroom and the bride. We read in Holy Scripture that Christ designed to assist in person at the marriage feast of Cana. Would it not be an exceeding honor and happiness if, in His infinite condescension, He would similarly honor by His personal presence the marriages of His followers at the present day? It looks at first sight as if this were an extravagant wish, the very expression of which is presumption on the part of poor sinful man. And yet, my brethren, that is just what our beneficent Lord wishes to do, and holy Church urges us to accept His merciful invitation. For this purpose it is her desire that the performance of the marriage should be followed by the holy Sacrifice of the Mass, which is to be offered for the welfare of the married couple. During Mass, Christ is as truly present as He was in the midst of the guests at the marriage feast of Cana. As there He changed the water into wine, so here, on this occasion. He transforms the natural love of two human hearts into the supernatural charity of the children of God. It is the ardent wish of holy Church that the Catholic marriage should be followed by the holy Sacrifice of the Mass; hence, I wish next to explain what is peculiar to this celebration.

The solemnization of Matrimony properly consists in the nuptial benediction which is given, and can only be given, during the Mass specially appointed for this purpose, and which is called in the missal "the Mass for Bridegroom and Bride." The Church is very desirous that all the married faithful should receive this nuptial benediction; so that, if any did not receive it on the day of their marriage, she urges them to do so on some later day. The only exception is the case of a widow who marries again; she cannot receive this nuptial blessing at her new marriage if she received it on a former occasion. But for those who have never yet received the nuptial blessing, it is always possible, provided both parties are alive, to have this Mass read or sung and the nuptial blessing pronounced. During this Mass the bridegroom and bride are kneeling before the altar. The priest, after the usual prayers at the foot of the altar, ascends and goes to the Missal at the Epistle side, where he says the following Introit: "May the Lord of Israel join you together, and may He be with you; and now, O Lord, make them bless Thee more fully. Blessed are they that fear the Lord, that walk in His ways." The Collect is next read or sung: "Graciously hear us, almighty and merciful God, that what is performed by our ministry may be abundantly filled with Thy blessing, through our Lord, Jesus Christ, Thy Son, who liveth and reigneth with Thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, world without end. Amen." The Epistle of the nuptial Mass is taken from the fifth chapter of St. Paul's Epistle to the Ephesians, verses 22 to 33, in which we find these sublime thoughts: "Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loves the Church, and delivered Himself up for it, that He might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of water in the word of life; that He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having a spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. For this cause shall man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh. This is a great Sacrament, but I speak in Christ and in the Church."

You notice, my brethren, that St. Paul compares the marital union of bridegroom and bride to the union of Christ with His Church; and therefore he says that the husband must love his wife as Christ loved the Church, and sacrificed Himself for it; and as the Church is loving and obedient to Christ, so must the wife be loving and obedient to her husband, who is in place of Christ. See to what exalted dignity this explanation raises the Sacrament of Matrimony.

After the Epistle follows the Gradual, which is so very beautiful. It says: "Behold, thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. May the Lord bless thee out of Sion; and mayest thou see the good things of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. And mayest thou see thy children's children; peace upon Israel." Later on the secret prayer is said, which is as follows: "Receive, we beseech Thee, O Lord, the offering we make for the sacred law of Matrimony; and be Thou the disposer of the work of which Thou art the author."

The Canon is the same as in all other Masses, till the Pater Noster has been said or sung. Then the priest, standing at the Epistle corner of the altar, and turning towards the bridegroom and bride, says over them the following very solemn prayer: "Favorably hear our supplications, O Lord, and graciously protect Thy institution which Thou hast ordained for the propagation of mankind; that the union made by Thy appointment may be preserved by Thy aid. Let us pray. O God, Who by the power of Thy might didst make all things of nothing, and having ordered the beginning of the universe, and made man in the image of God, didst so provide for him the inseparable aid of woman as to give to the body of woman its beginning from the flesh of man, teaching us what it pleased Thee to form from one it should never be lawful to disjoin; O God, Who hast consecrated the conjugal union by so excellent a mystery, as to represent the Sacrament of Christ and the Church by the nuptial contract; O God, by Whom woman is united with man, and that alliance ordained in the beginning is endowed with that blessing which alone was not taken away either by the punishment of original sin, nor by the sentence of the deluge; look down favorably upon this Thy hand-maid, who, being now to be joined in Matrimony, seeks to be defended by Thy protection. May there be upon her a yoke of charity and peace; faithful and chaste may she marry in Christ, and be an imitator of holy women. May she be pleasing to her husband, like Rachel, prudent like Rebecca, long-lived and faithful like Sara. May the author of sin have no share in any of her actions. May she remain constant to the faith and commandments; united to one may she avoid all unlawful connection. May she protect her weakness by the strength of discipline. May she be grave in bashfulness, venerable in modesty, instructed in heavenly doctrine. May she be fruitful in offspring, approved and innocent; and may she arrive at the rest of the blessed in Thy heavenly kingdom; and may they both see their children's children, even to the third and fourth generation, and arrive at their desired old age."

After this very impressive prayer. Mass is continued, and at the usual time holy Communion is given to the married couple, unless they should have received it at an earlier hour or preferred not to communicate on that day. Next the priest prays again, saying: "Behold, thus shall every man be blessed that feareth the Lord; and mayest thou see thy children's children; peace upon Israel. Let us pray. We beseech Thee, almighty God, to accompany the institution of Thy providence with Thy gracious favor; that Thou mayest preserve in lasting peace those whom Thou joinest in lawful union. Through Christ our Lord. Amen."

Before giving the usual blessing at the end of the Mass, the priest once more turns to the newly married couple and prays: "May the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob be with you, and may He fulfill His blessings in you; that you may see your children's children to the third and fourth generation, and afterwards life everlasting, by the assistance of our Lord Jesus Christ."

He may then address, if he thinks proper, some further instruction or exhortation to the recipients of the Sacrament. Lastly, he sprinkles them with holy water, and then concludes the Mass as usual.



Conclusion

My dear brethren, a marriage thus blessed and entered into in the proper dispositions of mind and heart cannot fail to have upon it the richest benediction of Him Who is the giver of all good things. If the faithful duly appreciate these advantages, all will be most anxious to have their nuptials followed by the Mass appointed for the bridegroom and the bride.